


Drunken Mistakes

by sugarshoneys



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Crying, Drinking, Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Hunk (Voltron) is a Good Friend, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Loneliness, M/M, Nonbinary Pidge | Katie Holt, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-05
Updated: 2018-02-05
Packaged: 2019-03-14 00:15:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13581969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugarshoneys/pseuds/sugarshoneys
Summary: In which Lance drunkenly kisses a stranger in a bar, and Keith breaks up with him. Months and even years later, Lance is unable to move on from their relationship.





	Drunken Mistakes

**Author's Note:**

> this was vaguely inspired by press your number by taemin

I think the fact that I'm on my floor naked and crying, and I just cracked my phone screen really says a lot about how things are going for me lately. Even though I knew the chances of him calling were slim, I still sprinted to the phone at the sound of it going off and got upset when it wasn't him. It's honestly pathetic. 

I slowly rise to my feet and grab my now fucked up phone before heading to the bathroom to brush my teeth, because of course this happened at 7 in the morning. I wonder how many more months I'll spend crying and freaking out every time my phone goes off before I start to move on, or if I ever even will. All of this was so unfair and I didn't even know how to deal with it. Two months ago, I was happy. I had Keith and he was my everything, and I wanted to propose soon. I wanted to raise a family (of dogs) with him, I wanted him to be my forever. A dumb drunken mistake made all of that impossible, and I don't think I can ever forgive myself for how much it hurt him. 

In the shower, my mind wanders to how we used to shower together often. When I get out and head towards my bed, my mind wanders to the things we used to do in it. How I used to hold him and help him calm down when he had nightmares, and how he used to whimper and moan under me when things got heavy. How he used to hold me when I couldn't get out of bed in the mornings because of how depressed I was, and how happy he was when I felt okay and how proud he looked when he saw me getting ready for work without being reminded. I remember how I felt a similar sense of pride every time he went out and socialized and every time he opened up about his feelings instead of bottling them up. 

I miss every little thing about Keith, everything. I want nothing more than to see him one more time, but I can't bring myself to talk to him, and he wouldn't want to talk to me anyways. Sometimes I catch myself holding my finger over his contact that's still in my speed dial and I'm so tempted to just call him, but I start crying and hyperventilating before I ever do anything. 

I put on sweats and Keith's old sweatshirt he left here, and I plant myself on my couch, ready to binge-rewatch Friends for the thirtieth time but the doorbell rings just as I'm about to hit play. I put down the remote and walk over, checking through the peephole before opening up. It's Hunk, so I open the door.

“Hey, man, can I come in?” He asks. I nod, gesturing towards the couch before shutting the door. “Cool. I wanted to talk to you about something, okay?”

“Okay. What's up?”

“You need to try to move on. I know how much you love him, I really do. But you're never going to be happy if you don't try.”

“Hunk, thanks but-” I get cut off before I can finish.

“No, listen. Me and Pidge are gonna take you out tonight. We're gonna go out for dinner and drinks and if you need to go home at some point, it's fine, but we'd love it if you'd please try. Seriously, we miss your smiling face.” I don't know how to argue with this, so I just stay silent for a moment before nodding. It can't hurt to go out for one night, I suppose, so I'll do it to make them happy. 

“Alright, yeah, I'll go. What time?”

“Pidge will come pick you up around 8, but be ready by 7:30 in case they come early, okay?”

“Okay. I can do that, I'll see you then.”

“Yeah, see you man.” Hunk smiles and gives me a small wave before letting himself out the front door. I sigh and sit down, checking the time. I have time to binge Friends for a couple more hours before I have to get ready, so I will.

\--

I realized I didn't know whether I should be dressing formal or casual halfway into getting dressed, so I decided to text Pidge and ask. They responded saying they'd bring me a new outfit as a present and I should wear it tonight. I'm slightly worried they'll force me out dressed like a clown, but I agree anyways and accept the bag they hand me upon arrival along with a hug. I head to the bathroom and pull out the clothes- ripped black skinny jeans, a black T-shirt, a rainbow pride belt, and combat boots. Okay, this is valid. I get dressed and as soon as I come out Pidge and Hunk are both screaming about how great I look, and I find myself smiling. Maybe I can do this and enjoy it, after all. 

I hop in the car and Hunk lets me have shotgun, and Pidge blares Britney Spears, and I feel good. 

\--

Dinner is over. I had chicken strips because I'm a three year old, but now I'm getting drunk at a bar and Pidge and Hunk told me to slow down on the drinks but I said no and walked away from them, so now I'm alone at the bar. I'm about to ask the bartender for a shot, but before I can I feel a hand gently touch my shoulder, and I turn around and it's Keith. It's Keith and he's silent and he has tears in his eyes and he looks beautiful and I want to wipe the tears away, but he looks away and does it himself, and he starts to walk away. I get up and follow him, grabbing his shoulder like he did to me.

“Can we talk?” I slur out. This is a bad idea, and I know it, but I do it anyways. He looks at me for a moment before nodding and leading me out the door. 

“Hi.”

“What do you want?” He asks, and I have to think about my answer because I honestly don't know and my mind is just a landslide of reasons he should come back to me, and apologies and excuses and so many things I can't even begin to organize. I find myself just staring at him in silence, and he's staring back, and then I kiss him. He kisses back for a second before pushing me away from him, and his eyes are wide and he's crying again and then he's running away. I don't notice it until I feel a sting on my knee, but I fell down and scraped my knee. How did I fall? I was standing still. 

Why did I kiss him? Kissing people when I'm drunk is what caused all of this to go wrong in the first place. I shouldn't have drunk tonight. I try to stand, but I can't do it, so I give up and just cry on the sidewalk outside the bar until Hunk comes out, and he's yelling for Pidge and picking me up and everything is a blur and I'm falling asleep. I wake up in the car and I have my head leaning on Hunk’s shoulder in the back seat, and I'm letting out sobs and he's putting his arm around me and trying to calm me down but I can't breathe and there's snot all over my shirt and his and Pidge pulls over the car and walks over to us and gives us both a hug before taking me back home. They make me drink water and give me some soup, and they help me change and stay with me until I fall asleep before going to sleep themselves on the floor. 

\--

I wake up the next morning and my head is pounding, and my knee is still stinging and my mouth is so dry I'm willing to get out of bed right away for some water. I almost trip over Hunk when I get out of bed, and the events of last night all come flooding back to me in a rush and I find myself crying again as I walk to my kitchen for some water. My phone is charging next to the toaster, and I pick it up and find Keith's contact and read through our old texts. I miss being able to talk so lovingly with him, but it's over now. I type out a message for him, one I've typed many times before but never sent. I hit send this time.

It simply says, “I'm sorry.”

I put my phone back down and go back to my room, and Pidge and Hunk are awake now, and we go to the kitchen and sit while Hunk cooks breakfast, and I tell them everything that happened, including the text. 

“I'm proud of you for sending it.” Pidge says, giving me a sad smile. I tell them that I'm not proud of myself because it's my own fault I need to apologise in the first place, and I fucked everything up. They shake their head at me and give me another hug, and Hunk comes and joins in. I'm glad I have them.

\--

It's been a year since that night. Keith and I haven't spoken since then, and I haven't dated anyone in that time either. I'm seeing a therapist now, though. I’ve been staying away from drinking considering how it's affected my life, and my life is a lot more together now. On my way home from the grocery store, my phone goes off in my pocket, so I decide I'll check it when I get home. I put all the food away and pull out my phone, and it's from Keith. I almost dropped my phone, but I opened it anyways with my shaky hands.

“I miss you.”

He misses me. Did I read that right? I think I did. The words run through my head on repeat and I need to sit down, I need a moment. I put down the phone and make some food and sit down and think. And when I'm done, I reply.

“I miss you too. I still love you. I'm so sorry for everything.”

“I still love you, too. It's taken me a long time, and I'm sorry for that, but I'm ready to forgive you.”

“Oh my god.”

“Do you still live in the same apartment?”

“Yes.”

“I'm on my way.”

I throw my phone on the couch and sprint to the bathroom to fix my appearance, even though I know full well the second I see him I'm going to cry. I pace back and forth across the living room until the doorbell goes off, and when it does, I run to the door and I pause for a moment before answering. This is happening so fast, and I don't know if I'm ready, but my hand is on the door handle and I'm opening it and there's Keith, who's hair is shorter. He's wearing a leather jacket, and he has an earring in his left ear, and he looks ethereal in my eyes. We look at each other in silence for a moment that probably lasts too long before he pulls me into a hug, and I'm smiling and I'm crying and when I pull back, he is too.

“Can we start over? Not this, but, us.” Keith asks me and I'm replying with “yes” before he even finishes his sentence and he smiles at me. “Alright then. I'm Keith, it's nice to meet you.”

“I'm Lance.” I laugh and shake my head, and I pull him in for another hug. I've missed him. 

I'm blissful, I'm excited, and I'm in disbelief because this almost feels like a dream, but I believe that it's not because I can feel him in my arms and I can feel my heart beating faster than I've ever felt it beat before.

So when I wake up, the feeling of being alone aches worse than it has in this past year, and my heart really is beating that fast but it's out of panic, and I can't breathe and even though it was only a dream, it still felt like losing him all over again. I call in sick for work and go back to bed.

I know it's a bad idea, but I find myself logging into Pidge’s Instagram and using it to look at Keith's account since I'm blocked on my own. The second it loads, I end up throwing my phone across the room and sobbing into my pillow because he has a new boyfriend and his last post was a picture of them kissing, and it's probably in my head but he looks happier than he ever did when he was with me. He's never going to be mine again, he's never going to love me again. I don't deserve it, either.

I fall asleep alone again.

**Author's Note:**

> hello, thanks for reading ♡ kudos and comments mean a ton
> 
> this was posted without any editing or even proofreading, so sorry for any mistakes hahaha


End file.
